Domestic Violence, Why Don't They Just Leave?.Graphic Photos

As of Today… Both cockfighting and domestic violence are currently misdemeanor crimes, punishable by 30 days in jail. A bill was passed that made cockfighting a felony, punishable by five years in jail. Domestic violence crimes remain a misdemeanor.

From the Inside Looking Out 

Much of society considers Domestic Violence a private matter; “it’s the couple’s problem, not mine" or "she’s the one that stays, so it's her fault”. Due to this naive thinking, many women are abondoned into these abusive relationships. From experience: There was absolutely no one to help me. No one decided to step in until after I was badly hurt and my abuser was incarcerated. But this was unknowingly a fault of my own, not my families. I allowed them to be pushed away and even played a part, I was ashamed, and embarrassed of how I was living. So with my distance and my abuser doing his best to keep me alienated from my family, I soon had no one. Before you even know it’s happened, everyone is gone and you are left alone.....with him.

This is something friends and family should take into consideration when dealing with a loved one in an abusive relationship. They may want to leave or ask for help, but feel ashamed for lying and decieving you. It is very hard to ask someone for help that can say "I told you so". Although those trying to help are far from blaming their loved one who is reaching out; a victim is likely to expect the negative response, due to being isolated to only that for so long.

The laws have changed slightly throughout the years, for example in 1994, the Congress of the United States, as part of the Crime Bill, enacted legislation empowering the federal government to participate in the fight against domestic violence. The Congressional goal was to "treat violence against women as a major law enforcement priority, take aim at the attitudes that nurture violence against women, and provide the help that survivors need" (S.Rep. No. 102-197, at 34-35, 1991). This has not shown effective; statistics have increased, rather than decreased.

In 1987, the first Domestic Violence Awareness Month was observed. The same year the first national toll-free hotline begun. In 1989, the first Domestic Violence Awareness Month Commemorative Legislation was passed by the U.S. Congress, and it has passed every year since. Do you know what month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month?

Much of society is unaware or fails to understand the severity of the issue, that is barley punishible by law. Help groups and organizations provide a simple set of steps to flow, that will in return "set you free". These steps are insulting; it’s as if they are saying only ignorant women get involved in an abusive relationships. Lawyers, Doctors, and  Police Officers have been affected by Domestic Violence. If leaving was as simple as 1, 2, 3, stats would provide much more of a possitive results. I followed each and every one of these steps at one point or another. Those who have not been in an abusive relationship would call my responses to these steps an excuse. No! Untrue, you know the short limits of your abuser.

4 out the 5 Women that die from Domestic Violence, are murdered in attempts to leave.

Don't take the time to "make plans", Just Go...Everything you leave behind can be replaced, you can not

A new bill was passed February 11, 2008 where the abused can potion an “Order of Protection”. It was likely passed “rankings data” because the Palmetto State has the highest level of violence of any state in the nation, much of this violence is perpetuated by men against women. The issue could no longer be ignored once Attorney General Henry McMaster named domestic violence as the number one crime problem in South Carolina, yes, SC. This state could fit into Texas almost 4X. More than 36,000 victims annually report a domestic violence incident to law enforcement agencies around the state. The Order of Protection “[a] prima facie showing of immediate and present danger of imminent danger of bodily injury, which may be verified by supporting affidavits, (Oh, now they beat you in front of people?) constitutes good cause for purposes of this section.” “Abuse” to include “physical abuse,” “bodily injury,” and “assault,” it also recognizes that “the threat of physical harm” is sufficient to constitute a basis for the issuance of an Order of Protection as the result of an emergency hearing. Section 20-4-20(a)(1).

The problem with this law, is that the abused cannot get an “Order of Protection” when they have the courage to leave; they have to wait until they can “prove abuse” by show marks or bruising before they may or may not receive the order. I can remember being so tiered when I was in this type of relationship. I didn’t have the strength to argue or emotionally fight for myself. This bill is to demanding to only guarantee nothing. You have to prove your abuse, which can be emotionally and mentally hard. They have just spent the past several years being very carful to cover and hide there abuse, they are now expected to reveal all that they have been trained to hide. This is like asking someone with anerexia to eat or someone who is depressed to get up in sing karyokie. These thinks are possible, they can be done, but it will take several attempts before it happens.

The strength, emotionaly and physicaly, a batter women has lost by this point leaves almost a shell of a person. Furthermore, a showing of “immediate and present danger of bodily injury” denotes that the threat of a future occurrence provides the basis for an Order of Protection and, thus, a definitive finding of physical abuse is not mandated. Moore v. Moore, Op. No. 26429 (S.C. Sup. Ct. filed February 11, 2008). Which is good, but the second time may determine too late.

This angle would work for someone who experienced an incident of abuse from in a new relationship. Which is great get out and keep them away, but this is not a working bill for a woman who has been enduring an abusive husband for 10 years and has 3 kids. It’s not enough!

My In-justice

When my x when to trial I was called 15 minutes before it started, this left me no time to prepare for court. In fact the court house was more than 20 minutes away. I had no closer; the judge couldn’t put a face with a piece of paper. His trial consisted of three charges combined into one sentence, CDV, burglary in the first, and attempt to manufacture methamphetamines. What happened to me was just shuffled in. For all three serious charges, each containing a maximum of 10 years a possibility of 30 years, he received 5 years and served 2…..

 Law enforcement, and state law officials, have failed horrible by neglecting to place strictor guid lines, laws, and punshment on criminals who abuse their spouces. How lose are laws on domestic violence? I once attented a family court hearing for a friend, while waiting to do in I over hears a man talking to his attorney. His exact words were "I'm more worried about them putting me in jail for the child support, than that CDV bullshit".   What they’re doing is not working, nor has it made an impression on the abusers and the longer they take to figure it out more and more women are dying.

Where could she go?
Who could she tell?

Was easier to stay
To accept defeat
Everyone told her
That's the way it should be.

They all looked away
and left her alone
they turned their heads 
to any broken bones

They told her to be strong
for that was the plan
Her only goal 
should be to please her man

She did her best
She gave it her all
When asked "What happened?"
She said
"Oh, Just a fall"

Years went by 
she learned to adapt
she learned how not 
to make him mad

She learned how to please
Just what to say
She learned to make sure
HE had a good day

Those looking on could not see?
Would not see?
The pain that was so deep inside of me
Was it easier to just look away?

Distance and time
closed for me
there was a hand that 
could be reached

A hand with a face 
from the past
A hand that only for a 
short time would last

I held on to that hand
with all my might 
I pulled myself up
I learned how to fight

 

A year has past
And now I see
just how wonderful 
life should be

Written in celebration of my freedom
Dedicated to the face from the past,
(Someone's name)